Over

huff...

i still feel down. i had this very hot discourse with len, and i think i hurt her. well i was hurt too, because she was so mean and she doesn't seem to feel the affection i gave her during lynnie's party.

i was so so hurt.

i had always been obsessed with len since i was in high school... now that i made a great leap forward of trying to make her feel that for me she's special, she turned me down.

i hadn't done anything, and here she is telling me that i had no chance or something. syempre what do i have to be in the ranks of her other boy friends? these boy friends would include people from xavier and san beda and other high-ended guys. yeah yeah, im a whit compared to them.

i made a big mistake. i shouldn't have hit it on len because our relationship should only have been platonic. its the kind of relationship i share with the rest of my high school classmates. and i broke it. i hope everyone can forgive me.

i told people that in the game that i and len should be playing, "ang una ma-inlove. talo..." it seems that i lost.

argghhh.. kaya pala i was feeling so so weird lately. i cant eat, i cant sleep properly, i cant even do anything nice. kasi i fell in love.

and in the span of 2 days, my love fell down to ruins.

its very hard for me.

len kept on repeating that IT's over... until now im still confused. maybe she finally ended any chance that i have to being her boyfriend. huff...

so be it.

well, i realize everything naman. i just have to convince myself that len is really not the one. maybe she deserves more affection, or someone better than me. and maybe i deserve some other girl - someone who would reciprocate the affection that have been oozing out from me.
i was just so stupid for shocking len. now i created a mess, and i dunno what to do to clean everything up.

-messed-