Pear Pressure

Lipa City highlands (view from our house)

I can hear mariah carey belting her signature whistle register voice as she sings bringin on the heartache. playlist is full of emo songs, because im half emo. but i have happy songs too though, like we go together and the like. wait, that's bamboo's hallelujah on my headphones. then breakaway by clarkson. dashboard later. and more nickelback.

my tail bone, or whatever you may call it, is aching. that's why my sitting position is kind of awkward. hehe.

agghh, my hypeririditis is attacking again. i have to decrease the brightness of my monitor, despite the brightness pane that's accumulating too much metro dust... all painful today.

just came home from lipa. brought three kinds of chocolates with me: milk chocolate, brownies, and m&m's. yey!

m&m's are peanut flavored though - my least favorite flavor, aside from cinnamon.

my favorite is caramel.

but are there caramel m&m's?

rubber ducky photo frame given by ayen is screaming for a photo. i wonder who i'll put in it.

the wish list i was talking about before is now in my recycle bin. i realized that wishing too much may irritate dear Father or Fate, whoever, that they might bring down some bad kharma to me. so, bye bye wishlist.

too bad, i was actually wishing some good stuff for people. like for ayen to have her computer-junkie zach, and for vida to eternally weigh below 100 lbs., and for brylle to cop that long-awaited Suma, and for Danazart to finally become a ramp model, and for me to be able to bathe in the rain before i die... mmm, things like that.

hey, when i came home in lipa, i stumbled upon this nursing manual (which was peach and funny) on the dining table. i kinda read it, some of it, coz im a frustrated medical student, so everything that's got something to do with medicine intrigues me.

i read somewhere on the first pages that by the time people reach their early 20's, their mental, physical, and spiritual facilities will attain maximum efficacy. that's why the most productive people are those whose ages are twenty-toot. the book also said that people of this age bracket is highly sexually aggressive, and their sexual faculties are at peak performance, which usually stretches until early 40's (for men). wow. that's nice to know.

i read further and learned that it is also during the early 20's that an individual terminally decides where he belongs in the TWO BIG I's... INTIMACY or ISOLATION.

Isolated people usually are the ones who dont marry. and if they do, their marriage is not a happy one.

...

actually, as early as now, ive been thinking about this stuff. i dont want to spend the rest of my life brooding over my solitary doom. i want to have a family of my own; i want to have kids, and a wife. too bad, ive enrolled myself to Anti-Society some time last year. now im a bit of a recluse (not too obvious though). that means "i have a closed heart" in layman's.

well i guess it's not yet too late. i have two years more before i cross the bridge.

well i tried to put it aside and started munching on a very luscious ripe pear that's been waiting for me since i left for qc. the yellow skin had been taken off, and now the fruit's all naked, with some of its juice trickling down my feline fingers. unlike the smooth skin, the flesh is dotted with rough beads of crystallized fruit flesh, making it rough by the touch.

that's when i realized how i became a walking victim of peer pressure. whenever i look at my peers, i feel like im a displaced preparatory school student. i feel like im a crystallized fruit bud on the smooth surface that was my batch. i think business though, but acting-in-society-wise - im a big simpleton. damn. and i have this creepy feeling of always being left behind. always trickling down feline fingers.

oh yes. peer pressure. for years since my first communion i thought it never existed. i thought it's just some highfallutin phrase that has something to do with one of my favorite fruits and how it is canned and eaten. now it's the one eating me.

... huff ...

my body needs some rest. will write more later.

-skinned-