State Crab

i probably should be getting along with my lengthy exam notes (two chapters less than 300 pages) for tomorrow, but things happening around me forces me to stop, reflect, and think of the things i did that made me not only this stressed, but also equally sad.

for the fourth time since i started giving out my wonderful resumes, i have been turned down by ignorant hrd personnel from prestigious banking institutions in the country. why do they always fail to read the "For INTERNSHIP" label at the top of my resume? i have wasted a lot of money going to and fro makati hoping that i would finally get a well deserved internship program, only to be dismissed by the human resource department because they missed the "for INTERNSHIP" part in my resume. and here i am now, still void of any internship whatsoever.

actually their lack for internship programs is nothing. what perturbs me is the fact that i got harrassed in the process. you dont just go to makati and talk to people. you get interviewed. and ive realized, the "dog-eat-dog-world" mantra starts at the very beginning, during your personal interviews with crab mentalist ignorami.

i feel harrassed. for the first time i have actually went out of my league to embrace a dream that was never mine. for the first time i put my heart on it. what bothers me is that it is not accepting me the way it should.

now im thinking again. i dont want to give up a dream for the second time.

i gave up a dream once, and you can just imagine the pain i experienced when i finally decided to drop it. my mental faculty was shot, my emotional stability went Bail. it basically killed my ego.

-enough-