Break Even

hhhhhhhhh...
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i feel good, yeah!
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ive been on a blog leave - five days, on the record. haha! all that time i was back in batangas, living a life completely different from the one i live round here by the corner... how could i have been such a fickle-minded person to bind everything to sadness and despair, when a better life awaits for my return 3 hours away from here. so such a fool.
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now all the sadness are gone. i could look back at my ordeal and say, hey, a better tomorrow lies ahead of me.
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a miracle happened.
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i went back to batangas, to rosario actually because i cant stay in lipa since someone else had invaded the house, so i had to reside at late granma's house. five full days of baking in the sun, doing household work, eating fried eggplant, waking up in the sound of cockerels, running through fields, kneading malagkit, capturing photos of very beautiful children, and smiling days out... i feel rejuvenated. partially because it was a happy and renewing diversion, but mainly because one of my biggest dreams had just come true. thank God.
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i got mum's blessings... she said i can now shift to bio whenever i wanted to.
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yes...
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ok. i got teary-eyed. haha, its so mababaw, but think of it this way. i have given up any dreams of medschool because i dont have my mother's blessings. i have failed in my subjects in econ which made me go through some sort of severe depression. i was almost at the point of finally losing control of everything i hold, and was close to experiencing a detrimental collapse of my mental, physical, and emotional faculties, and then all of a sudden, i talk it out, and my mum revives my dreams. i can study bio now, and with that came back to life the dead dream i have buried months ago. thank God. this brings me so much happiness, i wanna share it to the world.
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im elated.
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five full days of happiness. in that span of time my dreams came back to life, my hopes soared high, and my ego lifted by degrees. now i have something to battle the odds in UP. bio may be hard as they say, but at least, the hardship i have to experience is a healthy one, unlike the hardship i get in econ - i study a subject im not even interested in, and had to mingle with creatures who spoke money jargon, who flirted with society like some group of fake, artificial butterflies... now, all those hardships will be set off by my shifting to bio. i knew from the very start that i am not born to be an economist. now that i have mums blessings, i can finally say goodbye to economics.
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yes. it's a liberation of the soul.
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i will be delayed. for sure. but i think every single second of that delay will be worthwhile, getting me ready for medschool. a high school classmate of mine kept on fostering my spirits about my shifting, so thank you dear friend/adviser, haha, thanks, you know who you are. tska anjan pa naman si len eh, delayed din, haha! i still have someone to spend time with me in UP.
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bio here i come. econ - thanks. at least youve made me a stronger person, and taught me the art of faking the high-end. haha. to my friends - friends till forever!
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the light! i see it, shining down in front of me.
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-allez!-