Evaluating Life

ROOOAAAARRR!!

if i just stop for a while, i will hear the rush of my blood.

i thought for just some unknown reason, the world is running me over. i woke up this morning rushing things, for no particular reason. i went to the drugstore, got a new set of toiletries without even thinking how i knew what i was gonna buy. then while i was doing the grocery, it dawned on me that the reason why im rushing things and my body clock suddenly burst to life with a loud ding dong, is because i wont be spending any more free time next week, since...

1. pep decides to join the compet so everything else becomes tighter... and we'll be having wednesday and saturday trainings...
2. my next tuesday is a no-breathers day. french quiz in the morning, geography long exam in the afternoon, and for the highlight of the show, a comprehensive exam in econometrics at the middle of the day. darn! now i know why the population of econ cuts in half every after junior year. the mere thinking about econometrics makes me just want to shut everything else and hibernate.

i hate econometrics, not because my professor doesnt have the capacity to teach it, because in fact she has: the latest BS Business Econ summa cum laude to date, captain of the UP Tennis Varsity team during her time, council officer of the school of econ, and a faux-beauty queen who could just have graced the runway with ease - what else could you ask for. every tuesdays and fridays, i come face to face with superwoman SA Quimbo (and she has a family - she's not a dork), but somehow, i dont get inspired by her achievements the moment i lay my eyes on the regression lines on my gujarati book. erf. prof quimbo always stressed that "we could pass econ131; we dont need to memorize the obscure equations to get it to above tres, we just have to internalize the basic equations..."

which on my comprehension complex translates to: "memorize the 21 basic equations in getting the basic regressional parameters... and that's not all, you have to know how to manipulate your calculator the fastest way possible, else you would consume a full 2 hours complete with only 3 columns of a 10 column worksheet. and you still have to answer the side questions... good luck."

ROOOOAAAAARR!! what am i? Microsoft Excel????

roar.

ive been reading the bb42 ygroup, and danazart, my best buddy from lasalle, makes econometrics sound like it's plain and easy highschool algebra. daing. i just dont get it, why i cant imbibe econ into my system fully. there's a resistance... but well... whatever. he's in lasalle, im in UP. at least i have that cherishable thought that at some point back, i was intelligent enough at the right moment, that why i landed in UP and not somewhere else. haay.

and my love life. d'oh. it's dead. every night, i hear the ghost of tin's voice telling me that "hala, these are those moments when the urge to cuddle someone will make you go crazy *edited*..." oh the nights are the bitterest times of the day. i hate it, when i think of having someone sleep with me, by my side, talk so sweetly in tristan and isolde abandon, it makes everything look dry, because i realize that ive just been talking to my violet pillow. deng.

so i drown myself with hard emo music.

well back to my UP life, i believe that if i continue doing this multipersonal multitasking, i would experience the biggest pain when i graduate. as ayen says, it is the sudden stop that's most painful. haay.

nothing. just pondering over things. welcome me to UP.

-it's raining again. what could be more cruel?-