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Yo Torian! Zup??

I'm trying to satisfy my hunger by drinking this creme-brulee-flavored pearl shake. I said earlier that I should be gaining some weight, but it seems like I'm developing an obsession with these shakeys. Just wondering how they called the usual sago as "Pearls" and the common nata as "Crystals". I actually paid for some extra "Pearls". I wonder how they would call pinipig in the shake - diamonds?? Hard idea.

Torian, me was unlucky again in my search for One-and-Only. She's not showing up. Waiting...

Hey, yesterday was Cousin-roommates' birthday, and he was very happy and very jumpy and very all smiles. He said he was so happy because he received five greetings cards: one was from his far friends, one from his blockmates from that coño-infested University Along Katipunan, otherwise called Ateneo, one was from his close friends - which would include me, one was from his family, and the last was from his cheesy girlfriend. He said he was really really happy, and he kept on portraying that, that it came to a point during the night that I envied him. He had this very huge circle of friends which would comprise of smaller circles of friends, which I unfortunately did not have. Even though Cousin-roommate is very alone in life (his mummy and duddy are no longer around, and he had no brother nor sister), I still feel like he's very blessed because he had his extended family to support and assist him. He even had a tito from the states who broke the code of night just to greet him happy birthtime. Me on the other hand is not blessed much with the synergy. I have my mum around, and my freaky brothers, but they don't feel like family to me. They feels so distant, so - strangers. CR is really blessed.

I wish my birthday would be as happy as CR's.

But when the time comes, that would be gasgas na. Besides, I don't want to be compared to CR anymore. It has been an allergy that crawled over me all my life, and I've had enough. I want to people to accept me for who I am, and I'm not sweating a bit to be like anyone better than me. Just be me - that's my policy, because if I didn't love myself, no one will ever do. No one. Huff, just wish birthday is as happy as CR's.

Of course, that would never happen.

Nufnuf. I'm not getting teary-eyed in front of everybody.

Skin was tanned! Yipee! Very hot.

Hey, I'm feeling heavy-hearted, can't lift the emotional stretch. I'm fearing that my eyes are betraying me; they're gonna cry! No!

Not here, not now, not ever. I never let anyone see me cry since The Incident. I will not cry ever, not during the high school retreat, not during my last recollection, not during very emotional times, not now, not ever.

Got to let this pass Torian. Check on you later.

-Darn-