Cheese

hey.

today is excruciating day. grrrr...

at 7 in the morning, started day with psych. was late in class. teacher was kinda angry. during class, me was half-awake. new seatmate with long flowing hair smells good. i kinda dozed off. then break. met abi and jomie on the way to katag. ate tocino rice and chocolate cake for breakfast. then socio10. discussion was partly about gma having admitted that she was really the woman on the scandalous tapes. then me wonders about what happens to economy. then went to ecosoc. talked to ate cathy. went home. ate lunch (burger steak, chicken torpedo) at jolibee. then home. slept for like an hour. then UP again. warmed up for volleyball. played well, but didn't win the competition. went to ecosoc. prodwork. then went home. met ace on the way. ate dinner at mcdo with ace. then now. bzzzz...

ugh, my calves are hurting. i overworked them. fuck it really hurts.

ace and i had a talk about her love life while in mcdo... yeah. i think the girl has the highest cheese factor among all the girls i've ever known. she has this crush who she shared like a thousand magical moments with, like meeting at the theater house, sitting side by side at the jeep, etc. her crush doesn't seem to recognize her love though. i think the guy is dense, like most of us. and she insists not. because she knows that he feels it... lah. i don't think so though. i've been told to be so dense once. girl said i was like stone with no nervous system. couldn't feel. so she dumped me without me ever courting her. ?? well, it wasn't my fault not to feel anything, she was so plain dull. i thought we were just friends... yeah. i hope she's happy now.

pretty magical. very cheesy...

hmmm, nothing much to say. check ya later.

-revelation-

Marathon

slept.

yeah. good thing. slept for like two hours from 2-4, alongside roommate and his girlfriend who has been in the unit since yesterday. so it's like one small happy family... and i'm the infant... mmm, yeah.

wan't able to go to batangas because rain was like cats and dogs and rhinos. kinda cold outside, but hormones' striking me again. been sweating for like the whole day. more freakin mornings.

yesterday, nothin much to do. well, i have to do some brushing up on my Econ101 and 102 and psych, and my paper in cwts, and my article for SIDHI, and my birthday card plans for ECOSOC... oh man, i've gots lots to do. and i haven't done anything... scold me. but well, it was saturday, and i can't possibly give my saturday up to accomplishing my assignments so i had a movie marathon instead.

the list includes: white chicks (which i'm going to watch for the umpteenth time), mona lisa smile, the first daughter, and jersey girl... haven't watched jersey girl yet though. white chicks is so so funny. forgot my problems for like a second. got tummy cramps though. first daughter is like a replica of chasing liberty starring mandy moose. katie holmes is cute though - looks like mischa barton. yeah. then mona lisa smile. this a stomper. julia is the same old julia, very good actress. i like the movie too. and maggie gyllenhaal. she's so lean, and she's seductive and erotic...

can't wait to watch the last movie.

fate is so fucking uncool. ayen and friends were like joining this organization called AISEC - international student exchange something something. me's wanted to join to, if it were not for the prexy of the organization. guess who...

my freakin features editor!!

Dammit!! ROOOAAARRR!!

yeah. it was ate rory from sidhi. man, she's the president of AISEC. you know what, this bitch was the biggest mouth who bitched me out of the last sidhi release last year. this bossy egoistic B pushed me to my fourth draft, and still didn't accept my article and didn't publish it. damn!! Rory is a biaatch!! BIAATCH with a capital SNOUT!!

huff. sayang tuloy yung 80 pesos na registration fee... grrrr...

asar, man! ibang org na nga lang. Maybe I'll join Tomo-kai instead. Tomo-kai is a non-academic org that fosters Filipino-Japanese friendship. hmmm, whatever.

me thinks tomo-kai is cool. daisuke thought i was japanese in the first place. hmmm, i dunno. maybe i really have some japanese heritage. i think we're chinese though... huh?? well so far, the wierdest resemblance that i've been told was - well - blockmate told me i look like russian. huh?? do you think so, torian? mum looks heavily like a misplaced eskimo...


see??

so, any resemblance??



nyaha! mum looks like celery! bwaha!

anyways, i wanna know how other people perceive me. for me, i don't look like chinese, because chinese has straight hair. i don't look like japanese, because, well, i just don't want to look like them. and i definitely doesn't look like russian. russians have transluscent eyes. ugh, i dunno. the outlandish features of me doesn't give a damn about my personality. and others think i'm a girl...

how do i look if i've got boobs??

BWAHAHAHA!!

hmmmm, whateverthings.

ugh, got to post my best buds' pics. hmmm, nothin, i just wanna post our photos lah...



Aizel the pointer, and kimoy the donkey-faced oyster.


darryl the alien from Planet Pointheads, and still kimoy, the donkey-faced, umm, hippo this time...

see how i can be myself when i'm widdem??

yeah. miss them lots.

i'd kill just to have them for christmas. and they're my comfort pips.

but i miss my other friends too. like my high school classmates... i hope they'd arrange another mini-stop things again. i miss niña because i didn't see her at cwts. and kristel of course. and faye and the atenistas because i rarely see them here at crescent.

grrr. fight it! shiaz, darryl would have been blasting my head off i he's wid me now. miss aizel. and miss bugbug from len too. her little punches were little painful though, but i'll tolerate it. yeah. good thing she's still unnerved with my constant teasing... and i'm extremely sorry because i keep on mistaking her for her sister all the dime. ugh, blind me, my eyes fool me most of the time.

hmmm, maybe i'll see you later. got some readings to do.

-update-

Illogical

Why it's not raining...

when i was a child, i was afraid of lightnings. we went to an outing in lemery (lemery was still clean back then), then it started to rain, and i was at the shore, and i saw lightning flashes at the far distance. i thought it was beautful, so after then, i was not afraid anymore...

hehe. my childhood is pretty illogical.

no Econ101 today because Prof. Pernia went to Cebu. Yey!!

today is not ayen's day. ayen is so fucked up. she's so broke, like, she's frowning all the time. ayen hates ***** because ***** is so clingy and very intimate to the last bit. blahblah. i just noted because it's not always that me see ayen like this. ayen = blabbery fun... today is an exception.

me saw let at vinzon's a while ago. this time i know it's let because, um, her hair is straight and long. len has shorter wavy hair... ?? and len's hair is chestnut. let's hair is darker. yeah. now i can distinguish the two of them. pretty cunning. yeah. i miss len...

saw noel at as, but he didn't see me. noel is my trusty friend from my volleyball class. noel = crazy because he takes his shorts off while walking to the gym. Crazy...

saw comm3 classmate at the Katips jeep. Forgot his name, but he looks good in pink.

saw Francis, the tallest person in Econ. Francis is a basketball varsity player, and he was my classmate in volleyball too. Francis was also wearing pink. so today is pink day.

actually today is very hot. we walked under the scorching sun at 2 in the afternoon, and sweat was just all over.

huff.

tomorrow is my socio10 day. I hate socio10 because I feel nervous because the discussions in socio10 are so rigorous. the freshmen in my class are so into socio that i think they're speaking too much. vida is my classmate in socio10, and she's complaining about the talkative freshmen. well. they're them...

hmmm. nothing much to talk about. i hope tomorrow will be more exciting.

-bored-

Solstice

Brrr...

It's raining again. like mad. yesterday was summer solstice day, so it's the longest day of the year according to ayen... and it really seems like the longest day. very looooooong day.

had picnic something near sunken garden after cwts. twas spearheaded by spearheads tweetledee and tweetledum... it's not a good picnic.

I hate batchmates. they're so snobby. wilmur is so into my nerves. he's so snobby, he never talks much with us anymore. he's so into our highers like as if he's them shit lah.

sarsi is mean to batchmates, but they deserve it...

after picnic, sarsi, vida, ayen, and me went to Katips. we had small talk in sarsi's ride, and twas like bestfriends, me havin none, me depressed, world hates me stuff... amazingly, ayen's bestfriend is grace, our highschool classmate who i never heard of since graduation. vida's bestfriend's name is viva, like viva and vida... live life... yeah.



me's bored. gots to get some sleep. yesternight, i wasted sleeping hours for writing my assignment in cwts, but to my dismay, the fucking assignment was not due until next week. hell. that's why i need to catch up with my sleep. but i miss piglett too...



that silly looking pillow is Piglett. he (or she) is my favorite pillow as of now. i also love Boink - the sepia-toned pillow that Lian gave me as a gift. and a lot more pillows... because i love pillows..

huh??

miss my best buds... they're the happiest people i've ever met. with them, i can be myself... huhu.



that's darryl at the right, aizel in the middle. he's the most kwela person to walk on my world. he's the shoulder who i can lean to. i treasure him with all my heart. she, naman, is one of my favorite girls. she's very funny and loves fun and never leaves a moment dull. she's my medicine for loneliness fevers. miss her.

mmm. darryl and aizel are like caramel flavored cello's donuts - every inch makes you feel wonderful...

see ya.

-solstice-

Cuts

Yey!!

The photos of our Laiya escapade are finally out... haha, I've gots some of them:


Haha!! Me and Carla and Darryl
Carla: Hoy eto na yung kaldero
Kimoy: Hmmm, may laman bang pagkain?
Carla: Wala eh...
Darryl: Halika, hanap tau sa dagat!!




Now, the game here is called "Spot Me..."


My favorite... Me's outposed everyone... Nyaha! I'll introduce em all later, when I've edited them in Adobe...

It's so unfortunate though. others didn't make it to laiya in fear of npa's. yeah. as if they're really around. btw, my fave pic was shot atop a huge boulder at the far end of the beach. we walked our feet off until they throbbing, and i guess that worth it...

well, that it. hope you liked my cuts... check on you later.

-cut-

Raining

FUCK!

Me's hungry again.

Ma tummy's a freak, man! Me's hungry all the time. I'm draining my allowance for food which I gobble up in secs. Yet I don't gain any pounds. Yeah. Freak!

Well, good news. I actually gained some when I went to Lipa. Me's gained like 5 pounds but school stuff is so annoying and stressful that I've shed the five pounds again. So, me's back to original stick self.



mondays are so boring...

Geez. Medalla is boring. and Pernia too. I can't imagine how this semester will turn out. Friends told me that 65 highers got proby because of Econ majors. Me's afraid. But who cares.

No best friend to bother.

it's raining outside. me's wanna sleep but i can't. i miss my Piglett pillow.

i'm bothered by my mosquito bites. they don't look like mosquito bites anymore, because they're bigger and itchier and redder.

off doesn't work on my skin. damn repellent doesn't work.

been reading my Psychology book for the longest time. gots interesting stories of whatever like people tend to be more intimate when they reach twenty. i can't imagine how more intimate i can be two years from now.

how can i get intimate anyways? me's got no one to snuggle.

i hate econ people. my blockmates especially. there's this huge conglomeration of fuck-assers who believe they look like models when they not. they too into themselves that they suck. they're very snobby people, especially this bitchy wilmer cu who's all sunglasses. as if he's something.

yeah.

do blog again next time.

-rain-

Wantlist1

Blug.

Been here for the past hour. Me's been keeping myself attuned to my volleyball skills which doesn't come in very accessible backpacks. Teacher in volleyball said the coach of the UP volleyball varsity saw us play and he was asking if we, especially the guys, (especially two other guys who are exceptionally adept in smashing) could spend some time for trainings every afternoon... That's why teacher in volleyball asks us to improve on our skills. So he gathered us and started explaining stuff, most of which made me pissed out.

Teacher Cagas in volleyball said my overheads suck. Me's got 4 out of 20 tosses, and it does sound pretty bad. So me forced mum to buy a volleyball so I can practice. Mum got angry first, but I got my way. Now, my fingers hurt because of over-exertion.

I'm having some difficulty to write. type.

Hate this classmate in volleyball, he's very loud. Keeps on blabbling round like he's some horse with a hot brand on. Keeps on sayin things like we're concerned of whatever it is. Yeah. Man, he sucks until the last sec. Funny though, he's gay. The nature of gays. And he has his gay friends, and they're like The Gay Band something. Got to admit though, his friend is very good. His friend only. Noisy gay is so noisy, like get out of ma face...

Got the best sleep I've ever had since who knows when in Lipa. Yipee! Gained four point six ounds.

Got my hair cut. It looks very boyish though, and it doesn't fit my image... I envy my brother's new hair. He always gets the good strands.

Speaking of bro, he's now studying (again) in La Salle Lipa. Wish him luck.

Mmmm...

Me's been craving for a lot of things lately... well...

Wantlist:
-bluetooth device for my computer
-Nokia6670 PC Suite CD
-disk burner
-cello's donuts - caramel
-a new set of boxers
-Sandra Brown books
-Angels and Demons
-best friend
-a new pair of slippers
-milk
-new earphones

huff, in my dreams. Mum's so busy with granma, who's so sick like hell. Shitlah. Mum's always going to rosario because of her mum. And everyone else is there. Hope for the best outcome.

-wanting-

Choppy

Bluhug.

Yester yesterday: had Volleyball pre-test. got 20 out of 20 digs. got 4 out of 20 tosses. passed pre-test. talked to Daisuke. got confused of his slurred English. talked to Spritzer. talked to Noel. flirted with gurl who never said her name.

Then me went to Teacher's Village and met with HS classmates. said hellos. talked to Ayen in full abandon. appreciated Kristel's reinvention. laughed with faye and albee. talked to niña. asked len to burn mymp cd. got bugbug from len. ouch. said goodbyes. went to experience caf with linnie and albee and faye and carla and later jejo and lique. ate tocino. went upstairs. got some mosquitoe-bit sleep.

Yesterday: went to class. then nothing. got home. got visit from Gezza. talked to Gezza. laughed with Gezza. slept. slept. slept. dreamed.

Today: woke up. read. read. read. ate at mcdo Katip's. listened to mymp music. went to school. tambay sa ecosoc. attended Econ102. went to Katip's. ate lunch at Shakey's with friends. ate spag mojos chicken garlic bread pizza. went back to UP. attended Econ101. corrected prof's wrong GDP calculation. went home. end of story.

-choppy-

Outcast

I was with my friends. We were watching a movie. Then suddenly, I was in a sea of strangers, an ocean full of people who were laughing when my eyes were sore.

I looked back. There was her. My heart froze. I told clarinetist that I'm hungry when I actually just wanted to go. I'm not feeling my friends. I'm lost.

In an ocean of people who doesn't share my sentiments.

A friend gave me food, but it tasted like poison. My stomach twitched. Then there was light. I was blinded. I wanted to go.

But I have to be sophisticated for society's sake.

I was wrong. I trusted but I made a mistake yet again.

-mistaken-

Decomposed

Ugh... Still depressed.

Not a good start for the semester. I dunno why pigging out still doesn't quench my undying depression. I'm not having the best nights of my life, and my mornings were none the better. What's wrong with my defense mechanisms?? Have I finally got immune to them?

My hormones were erratic again. I went back to Lipa yesterday and the mornings that I spent there were just icky. Too much dreams...

Then I went to Rosario to visit my ever-ailing granma. When I was boarding my butt to a jeepney, a manic goldfish-eyed subhuman got the better of me by regarding me as female and pinching me at my funny bone before he unboarded. Yeah. Talk about maniac. Ang tanga tanga pa... Hindi niya alam, hindi kami talo...

Then I was in granny's house. And I can't believe my eyes when I saw her... She is thinner than ever. Dangerously thinner; Fatally thinner. The sockets that hold her eyes were in their darkest, her arms were nothing but bone and skin, her fingers were frail and ghoulish... The whole of her is but lungs and brain and nothing else.

I find it awful how a person gets thinner by the tick of the clock. I find it awful how someone gets thinner than her thinnest. I find it awful to hear how my granny's grunts turns into silent whispers, and the only movements she can produce were slight swishes of her skeletal hands.

Then I met my childhood nurse again. She visited granny. We didn't see each other for the longest time and I missed her. We talked about life, her life, her baby, and how proud she is for the growth that she saw in me. Then she broke the news that she's flying to Korea to work her ass off as a nurse yet again. Then she left granny's house.

I didn't realize until a day later that I'm not going to see my childhood nurse ever again...

...

God help me.

...

I need someone to hold on to.

My inspiration didn't appear last Friday.

...

Hours from now and it will be night again. And I'm afraid to lose my composition again. I hope my pillow is ready for my tears.

My heart started to pump the other way around. I'm hating life like it's my worse enemy. I'm tired. I'm so tired of artificial happiness.

And tomorrow is another day.

-decomposed-

Lost

I feel so weak. I can’t do much because my footing is wobbly. Huff…

Something’s bothering me. I feel so alone. I miss my friends.

I Miss showman who performs the worm dance. Miss neighbor who’s just moved right next our unit. Miss petite OC who has sleep-inducing handwriting. Miss Athena who provided us transpo to UST. Miss dance choreographer who never tired of teaching the right sway. Miss silent gurl who’s promised to study the liberal arts. Miss Aisa. Miss volleyball varsity player who always kisses me by the cheek. Miss seatmate who’s birthday is in September 1. Miss graceful dancer who has healthy boobs. Miss good friend who migrated to Milan. Miss treasurer. Miss high school crush who’s very sweet name is royalty. Miss math wiz who never gave attention to his fashion sense. Miss Great friend who taught me the ethics of being with your enemies and gave me the chance to found an everlasting bond. Miss Great friend who inspired me with her words and gave me the chance to found an everlasting bond. Miss violinist who always smiled at me. Miss hard-working gurl who always allowed me to copy her assignment in Chem. Miss cousin’s girlfriend who has long flowing raven hair. Miss keyboardist who proved that she knows the keys of the keyboard. Miss musician who became gothic after entering college. Miss Mayora. Miss intelligent girl who I shared sessions of endorphine-boosted Friday nights at Mcdo. Miss balawis who always teased me and called me vakulaw. Miss Batangueña who has the leadership factor and helped design clothes for the ramp. Miss stern writer who didn’t win at the PressCon because her writing was too frank. Miss Physics partner who always needed to snuggle beside me because she’s always cold. Miss seatmate whose strong accent is spent for criticizing and making fun of everyone. Miss bubbly backseater who’ll throw a tantrum when she didn’t get her spongebob stuff. Miss funny gurl who is number 11 in the honor’s list. Miss Great friend who laughed with me during hard times and helped me found an everlasting bond. Miss long-time friend who always dwell on small things. Miss wrestling-fanatic whose pessimism never failed to bother me. Miss writer who taught me how to write my feelings. Miss silent girl who can endure not speaking for the whole day. Miss the cheapest person inside the room because he carried the same water-bottle all the time. Miss mother-material who always argued with Mr. Paras. Miss daughter-material who had a crush on Mr. Paras. Miss best actress whose theatrical skills were like: “Ako legal wife, kabit ka lang!” Miss cream puff vendor whose overpricing is understandable. Miss golfer who’s eternally pursuing intelligent girl. Miss long-time friend who owns a club house. Miss best bud who thinks he can be a Sand model someday…

Miss boy in spectacles.

…

Today is one of those days when emotional instability is my state of mind. Huhh, I've finally mastered the art of lulling myself to sleep by intoxicating my body with the tears that flow in reverse...

See you later; got to find myself first.

-lost-

Done

Halla!

Today is an accomplishment...

Early morning, I've been to Psych101 where I got inspired yet again. My Psych101 is so cool, my prof is very kind and very teacher-material, and she's exuding this aura that makes me feel like I'm at home with ma mum...

Then no class until 4:00.

So me went to Ecosoc and did stuff like watching over our application booth and details that came with it. And me felt like I contributed a lot for our organization because I was advertising our org while checking application materials while giving away freebies while issuing receipts while smiling... Yeah, talk about multitasking...

Hey, I met a new friend today. Her name is Robie, Robie Rina Marquez from Holy Spirit QC. She's a senior and she's a fellow ecosocer. Hmmm, it's nice talking to her. She's not one of those who'd bore you with their narrowness or whatever. And you know what, she's offering me her Psych101 book because her prof was also my prof. So she's lending me her book and I'll be free from buying it at Php700.

By the way, Robie is in the oppressive's kada. But for me, I think she's nice. I hope she's still nice when her kada is around her...

Then me went to this Bayad Center at Xavierville because we have to pay our electricity bill until tomorrow or else our electricity will be cut off. And it was fun paying bills because afterwards, you'll feel like you've been living in a house independently for the longest time...

Then me went back to UP and met Eugene on the way. Eugene is funny. He's never short of wacking himself. Always makes fun of everything else. Haha.

Hmmm, that it.

See ya later!!

-accomplished-

Ecstatic

Yiha!!

Tomorrow is FRIDAY!! Yeba!!

I'm an early riser tomorrow. Wish me luck!!

*giggles*

-ecstatic-

Excited

Bluug...

I can't wait for Friday!!

*giggles*

I love my subjects!! I hope I can do better this semester...

*giggles*

I'll die of giggling tonight... Haha, "why don't you tell me where it hurts now baby and I'll do my best to make it better. Yes I'll do my best to make the tears all go away..."

I miss Piglett... Piglett is my yellow pillow who never moans whenever hug the hell out of him. or her...

Two days na lang, friday na!! Yippee!!

See u later...

-excited-

Enrollment

Hey...

Finally, I've finished my enrollment in UP. I've been trying my luck for five days and it was only now that I could taste the fruits of my labor...

Hey, I have this new friend in Psych101, she's so sweet, she's very affectionate, soft-spoken... I think I like her... Maybe because she helped me get my Psych101 class. Unfortunately she's a graduating student but she doesn't look like one because she's 19 and hey, I'm 18. Ahha what am I thinkin?? But she said she has plans of shifting, so maybe she'll stay longer. And we could spend more time talking and and laughing, and she can spend more time singing "Tell Me Where It Hurts" for me.

Mmmm...

*kilig*

I can't wait for Friday!!

-inspired-