Friday Blues

uber cool today. everywhere is all wet.

oh, im short of cold water! help me i gonna die.

tv is boring. duh. no sky means no entertainment. silly.

im deaf enough due to hours of listening to alterna music. bang bang boom. no hear.

computer is not functioning well! ak.

huff. this is the effect of having your well deserved vacation after a helluva lot of acads were eliminated from your to do lists. suddenly you notice everything. like the unit for example. it looks so vague. i have to force mum to buy me things. unit is so empty.

what if i put on some posters?

na. dirty.

basta.

...

so bb42 is having an outing after all. well, since i was awake all morning (early morning that is, i woke up at 11... in the evening.), i bugged out my dear friends from bb42, ask them the progress about the outing. sched is probably on the 22nd and 23rd. at charli's resort.

they have a resort pala, at lemery. wee!

i miss everyone. its so cold in qc i feel so alone. tout seul. uhu.

logging at the grades viewing section of crs. dot dot dot. wee! i got an UNO in french! yeeha, i knew it! thank god.

and i got a 1.5 in skin diving. why is that? si sir kuripot sa grade. i got very high in both exams! erg, well education is better than high grades naman eh, who cares, i can do a perfect surface dive, the hell with disappointing grades.

im so proud of my short story. even if i think it wont please everyone, i think it's a work of art. a masterpiece. ask me for a copy, hehe.

wow, this entry is too long. effect of not having good internet connection (im in a cybercaf by the way).

i miss everyone. have i said that already? uhu. hanggang basa na lang ako ng blogs. haay. antagal kasi ng application para sa rvc. sa monday pa. and im already here in qc, after spending one gruelling night in batangas. sheesh, i even feel out of place in my own house in lipa. darn.

if you enter the house, you wont have a feel that i once lived there. no impression of me, no picture, no stuff, nothing. well. that's why i went back to QC na lang. at least here, i own the place, im not out of place.

mum just texted, she will buy me a water dispenser. bakit ganito mga nangyayari sakin. water dispenser? i should me concerned of parties and whatevercoolthings now, not home appliances! shit!

haay. nadedepress ako sa kalagayan ng family life ko (??). it's true, that when you have crisis at home, everything else is a hopeless case.

i need a hug. *imagines imaginary friend dropping by and hugging me*... thanks.

kasi dapat nanligaw na lang ako. para may girlfriend na ko ngaun.

kaya lang tinatrabaho daw un eh. wag na lang. hehe. tamad ako eh.

hay buti na lang may mga good things pa. yesterday, my lost penshoppe jacket was again, yes, AGAIN, returned to me! oh thank God! now i'll type on upper case the letter G in your name na, you're so good to me.

that's the second time something lost from me was returned to me, by fate, by the cosmos, by God. yey! pwera bawi.

sheesh. this entry will go on until forever.

pero.

forever is a relative term.

tick tock tick tock.

there. forever's over. bay!

-bittersweet-

Time's Fool

whatever is happening to my body clock?

and my wall clock? there's something wrong...

you see i went home to batangas yesterday thinking that i've done everything related to acads when i chanced upon my cellphone's calendar... it says: "wednesday, march 30..."

damn! today is the deadline for our revised short stories for creative writing!

eh too bad, it's late, i decided to go back to QC "today" which is the 31st.

so i arrived a while ago, and went straight to the english department in fc, to submit my paper. i made notes pa about me being a day beyond deadline, and me being always out of schedule... a classmate texted me, asking me where we should submit the papers. i laughed to myself, thinking that im not the only one who beat the deadline.

and then something happened when i got back home at gcm. i turned on my computer, and the computer calendar says today is "thursday, march30..."

huh?

whatda?

i consulted my cellphone and it says "thursday, march31..."

sheesh! the dates are different! creepy... and after that i lost track of time. i still had to ask tin what exactly is the day today and the current time. yikes. after that i dozed to sleep, and i dont have any memory of whatever happened this afternoon. all i know is i just woke up, it's 11:25 in the evening, and im all jumpy, like some normal morning. but the difference here is that it's just almost midnight. and im wide awake...

huh?

what's happening?!?!?!?

...

there's something wrong with my computer. it cant find the sites in the internet. stupid computer.

...

i see some progress in the bb42 outing. and just as when i get this lifted feeling of chillin summertime, i realize, wala pala akong free time for the outing!! aaak!

on april 3- 6, i will be applying for the UPSE Registration Volunteer Corps. after april 6 is holy week i think. then april 10-11 is the enrollment for summer classes in UP. then classes start on april 17. hala!

uff. hard. time. definitely weird.

i guess everything is a function of time. really.

-confused-

Young Summer

damn. summer is manifesting itself. the comfort room steamed like a sauna. geez.

i went to video city for the third time in three days, and guess how lucky i could be... on my third visit, i chanced upon the newly released king kong vcd... they were just about to put it in the rack of "latest releases," so without further ado, i ran my way to the counter with the vcd of king kong in my hand. the other guy was eyeing me all the time, maybe he'd been waiting for it to. but. baha! beat ya buddy!

yes, after months, im actually watching king kong... in my computer. hehe. i never really had the chance to watch big movies in the big screen mainly because of my uptight schedule, and my unpredictable allowance level... that's why i would watch this popular film and then tell it to my friends and they would go: "ano? antagal na nun eh!"

yeah yeah. time incongruities. what can i do?

and then on my way back home (a very long journey home, because video city is approximately 97 kimoy footsteps away), i chanced upon a group of teenagers like me who seemed to be packing some real colorful stuff. i had my eye on the inflated multicolored plastic ball, and realized they were going to the beach. yada. packing beach food, beach attire, and their beach gadgets together with their beach selves into a van. and i got envious.

i wanna go beach too! uha!

man. i just hope my people from lasalle realize that we are letting pass a very young summer sun which could give us some real healthy tan (toink... tan = damaged skin, silly). basta. i want the feel of sand on my skin. sand and basking in the sun = baked skin. goody yada. it would be great if i would start summer class with a good skin contrast.

thinking of summer, i've decided not to work on a summer job because chem16 is a heavy subject. if id work for at least four hours a day, that leaves me no room for studying, and i wont have any time to relax either. so, bye bye summer job.

i will ask my mum to buy me a water dispenser. i will make her buy me a water dispenser!

quezon city summer is scorching hot you know. there's a temperature disparity between qc and lipa. lipa is cooler, since it's a high place. though it's beginning to toast there also right now. well, we can't escape the heat of the tropics if we dont want to migrate somewhere else.

eff. i filed a name transfer for the phone line a while ago. so i still wasn't able to go home to batangas today. i have to wait until tomorrow, so i can bring the files to a law office so they can notarize it. tut tut tut.

waaah! beach!

kasi naman... pub head? mang-invite ka na! go kaya mo yan.

sige na nga. kung wala talagang mangyayaring outing, di magbabakasyon na lang ako sa pinakamamahal na probinsya ng nanay ko. rosario, batangas. at dun, magkakahig ako ng palay. nang sa gayon, maging kayumanggi ang balat ko. yun...

well that's it. king kong is due tomorrow, so id better watch it now. and tomorrow, i'd be in the vicinity of a law office. i wonder what it looks like inside. could there be lots of.. uhh... lawyers? law employers? haha, we'll see...

-tra la la la la-

Sem Ender

Enfini!!

Finally! Sem's over! Im free! Now i know, students have sophomore slumps too, and it proved to be as dirty and depressing as what they've been telling about it. The proving yourself that you're worth the taxes paid by the people, competing with naturally born lucky fellows, things like that... Good thing im all over it.

Shucks. 3 months from now, im in junior year, though im technically a junior now. Now that ive got through fresh year, have been upgraded to sophistication, what's left for me to do is to get used to the dirt and mirth of college life... the list of things attached to it goes on endlessly...

... dirty politics, flashy cars, e. coli contaminated fish balls, trash talking mos, ill-tempered librarians, the sunken garden, early morning traffic, etc. etc...

hay. If not for my “centrum : multivitamins complete from a to zinc” pampabuhay capsules, my mind would have been brain soup by now. If not for medications, my body would have been gut slurpee before i reached today.

Im just glad this sem is over. Im not glad because i got over my finals with flying colors, because in fact, i didnt. If i failed the two implalers i had this sem (namely accounting1 and econ106), then so be it. Im tired wasting precious tears, brooding over subjects im not meant to excel in the first place.

So much for my love of medicine.

Ak, scapegoat!

Well.

What's rockin this summer? On my calendar is the tba bb42 summer getaway, still unplanned... i wonder where we're going this time.

Uff. No one seems to be concerned of the outing. There should be buzz by now. Hello?? ello?? Llo?? Lo?? O??

no one.

Let's go beach goddammit!! i need some unwinding!

Tara-lets bagets!

Calling danazart. Where will you get your board shorts for the outing? Ring me.

-beachy-

New Beginnings

"After my last exam I'm going to get a haircut. Well you see, this haircut means a lot to me. ... . It symbolizes a "new start" and a new me. Just like with Kimoy. He got his hair done in the usual shark-like fashion after he stopped combing and fixing up. I guess he's in another "new start" himself."

exactly! you've read my mind for the umpteenth time, tin.

after the blows of fate, the unmanageable things that disoriented my footing, i pushed on gear to put me under the light. 48 hours ago, i was in the tangle of losing a friend, giving up medschool, hating my mother forever, failing mr. guerrero, and isolating myself to society permanently. but then the wheel of fate turns, and suddenly, the burden's gone.

you wont notice fate doing her manipulations on you. or was it god? God? or some higher being? the cosmos? whatever. in my earthly vocabulary, it's like the aftertastes you get from tea fraps: subtle and evasive, but intoxicating and cleansing at the same time. my natural highs.

my hair points up towards the sky, like the sunflower. have you ever seen the rolling sunflower fields of Arles? a vast sea of yellows look up to the sun in adoration, in hope a bright day the next day. society is a vast sunflower field. we are the sunflowers, and the blooms next to us are the people closest to us, our families, friends, also looking up to the sky as we do, hoping for a better tomorrow.

my hair points up towards the sky. this is my way of letting people know of the new life that blooms inside of me.

girls are a bit psychic, aren't they?

-face the world-

Color Talks

at an econ lib conversation, tin talks about colors... her favorites are black, white, and red. according to her, black and white means convention, sticking to rules, and the ability to distinguish right from wrong. for tin, black and white represents the absence of gray areas in her life. and red signifies passion, for life maybe.

i say, my favorite colors are: green, white, mahogany, and indigo. actually mahogany is a general term. technically it's bistre - a dark brown color that has a yellowish tinge. the color of my hair. pero mahogany na lang para madali intindihin.

according to my color-doctor, green means organization, white means introversion, mahogany means the love of nature, and indigo is uniqueness... indigo is uniqueness because very rare people would say that their favorite color is "the nearest shade from violet to blue." tin says im unique.

indigo is a rare color. it's only during the transition of afternoon to evening do you see it in the sky. that's why i like it... it's very evasive.

now if you need someone to interpret the colors you have biases on, contact tin, my color-doctor. she has a mind that transcends the color labels.

-white over bistre-

The Light

march 24... friday.

what could be more relieving than getting over your final ever finals exam in accounting? yes, cosmos, it is the very last accounting exam i will take this semester, this year, and i hope, this lifetime. allez! i have been haunted by the demons of balance sheets and turn-over rates since i was in high school, and today, this very special day, ends my life's journey through the labyrinth called fundamental accounting. cheers!

can i say now that i am no longer intimidated by accounting?

uh... erg.

that is if i pass accounting1. if i get tres, then, no more accounting for the rest of my econ life. yeeha!

alright, so i was done with accounting, and it didn't leave me unscathed. my mind was noodle soup after the exam, but despite the nausea-inducing complexities of capital stock, i was still collected enough to attend tin's induction party for ecosoc. we're certified mems now, let's join forces to clean ecosoc from all the toxic pollution brought about by coñotica!

tin and others pledging before the ecosoc insignia

tin's biggest surprise for the day: senior na si raymond ogan...

yes my dear friend, as much as i was astounded when i learned that he'll be leaving soon, raymond very nice guy is graduating this sem. tsk tsk tsk.

kimoy's joys for the day: i was awarded outstanding mem! yehey! and i got the pedse award for sticking myself to seccom despite prodworks that last until the waking hours of morning. well, i guess i've developed dedication to work because of the sympathetic people that consists my committee, so the honors actually goes to you guys. cheers! to the value of cooperation bestowed upon us by these fateful events.

as for now, i will enjoy my venti raspberry tea frap blended cream added whipped cream. i think after my very hard work for accounting, im entitled with the simple joys from tangy raspberry syrup, thick cream, and invigorating tea aftertastes.

periwinkle drink

yum! life really isn't that bad... im downing my second starbucks drink for the day. despite my neverending battle with ectomorphism, i gain high utilities from my ability to metabolize quickly. so i eat, drink, and consume like the gods.

as tin says, always look at the better side of things.

the light! i see it shining down in front of me....

-simple joys-

Ma Prière

Thank God for all the kindness in the world.

for the cosmos. for intelligent people. for the prevalence of sympathy over spite.

Thank God.

-je prie-

Business Hours

im fureakin tired. yesterday was a rollercoaster ride.

started the day with an oral examination in french. i could have easily aced it, if i hadn't forgotten the rules on negation. darn. i was not satisfied with my performance. but hell, french here i come.

then i had to go to sc to have a mugshot of me for my resume. after i got my photos, the most unfortunate event happened to me...

I LOST MY CELLPHONE!

shit.

and me and niña were scheduled for a preliminary interview in makati. i got so down and all, but before that...

we had our last meeting in cw10 muna. was fun because prof guerrero brought 3 boxes of cello's donuts, and lots of junk food for us to eat. well he would still be my favorite professor of all, even if he didn't bring us a box of cello's, because he was the only one who made me realize my potential in some field, in this case, creative writing. "im expecting to see you in higher creative writing courses," he said.

yes. for once, i got appreciated.

after that, i battled with another final exam in french, the written one, the second exam for french that same day. i got two mistakes which means no more uno, but tin assured me that since we didn't miss any meeting, french was till a sure ace. i hope.

then un nga, i realized that my cellphone was gone. so i got depressed, thinking of the many consequences that lies ahead, i called niña using the landline that i cant come to makati. then i had to tell my mum that my cellphone was lost, and when i called her, lo and behold, the UP Cooperative called them and informed them that they have my cellphone, found it somewhere, put it in the lost and found.

T-H-A-N-K G-O-D!

see, that's what you get when you give your best to being a good person. dharma.

i thought i could catch up with niña, and i did! we met at the quezon avenue station. thanks niña for everything.

when we reached makati, everything went a-blur. i could just remember my interview, the interviewer asking me questions i choose not to talk about. she even made me read a whole paragraph of nonsensical sentences containing th's and s's... damn. i thought i didn't read well because my lips were dry, i was famished like hell, and my feet were throbbing like crazy. but nevertheless, the point of the matter is THE FREAKING COMPANY DO NOT HAVE PART-TIME OPENINGS. Merdre!

she should have told us first hand. but i guess that's her job - interviewing. that's what she likes.

after the interview, niña and me traversed the perimeter of the block of the towering buildings, hoping to find the call center companies that were referred to us. unfortunately, we failed to find. the next thing we knew, we were at glorietta, slumped in a "chair" in the middle of all the chaos, trying to make sense of our game plan. the trip home was another story: a crammed mrt made us take the bus instead. and the smog surrounding me reflected the hazy memory i have of that journey. so freakin tiresome.

it was planned that we would go to ortigas today. but after my make-up class in accounting, i realized that my best move would be to stay at home, study for the finals on friday, and cross the bridge to the corporate world when i get there. that is after all the finals that lies ahead of me.

by the way, i aced the written exam in skin diving. and i got the highest score in the practicals. yeba.

that's too much for dharma.

simple joys.

-cramming-

L'examen Orale

ouf. tired.

tomorrow, me and niña will go to makati for our first ever interview from the corporate world. sheesh. im nervous. by merely looking at my first ever resume, i feel intimidated by the world where it belongs.

ouf.

i can do this!

l'examen d'unite a demain! waaah! je n'etudie pas! Ma amie, Myla, elle ne m'appelle pas. on doir dire pour l'examen orale! mais, elle n'apelle pas!]

ouf. bonne chance a moi.

je doir apporter mon boisson preferee a demain, a creative writing. hmmm... weird.

this week is hell. nooooh!

wish list:
-may i find a suitable summer job
-may i pass all my finals this week
-may i be able to conquer econ106
-may i get a high grade in creative writing
-may i retain my sanity after all of this

huff. alors, je doir lire mon livre de francais dix. a demain!

-l'examen orale de francais dix a demain!-

Early Morning

it's three am and im wide awake. ok, half-awake.

i felt scorching tsssst-hot while sleeping, that i woke up in the middle of the night, took a cold shower, and got myself typing a 3am blog entry to the tune of "here is gone."

nothing important. just documenting the workings of my mind during dead hours. now what's on my mind?

i love rock music. un lng. hehe. ok, ive been downloading linkin park lately. which surprises me, because i remember when i was 12, i hated linkin park whenever i hear my brother playing them, because they sounded to noisy and artificial. well they still do sound the same, but i developed a liking to hard-alternative music... so it's all beautiful for me now.

and taking a cold shower during the early morning hours feels good. it's a new thing for me.

im hungry. too bad mcdo is closing. will be opening in two hours pa.

ugh, im really hungry.

-rockin-

Tout Seul

jejo's out of the unit already, i have the unit all for myself! yeeeha!


new setup


suddenly the room started to look so expansive and ... uh, empty... hmmm.

this calls for some intensive personalizing upholstery of my room. i wonder where i should start.

naah. maybe later. accounting and mathematical econ and french are calling me.

bonjour mademoiselle. je m'appelle kimoy. j'ai dix-huit ans. je suis philippin. et toi?

erg. i hope that someday i will be able to tell everyone that i am trilingual.

and that i am not intimidated by accounting anymore.

i hope everyone uses mozilla firefox because everything is better in mozilla than in microsoft internet.

-powered by centrum: complete from a to zinc-

Turning Twenteen

i forgot to upload the photos shot during sarsi's birthday celebration at super bowl... here they are:

twenteen, nighteen, eighteen...

wee saya!

yey! here's tin in her "head-wear-endorsing-mode"... the color channel had to be changed tin because there's a shadow covering your face. the original doesnt show your face that much, so i edited the light/darkness balance... hehe.

eli buendia. ak.

hmmm. sarsi is twenty... uh. i'd call it twenteen - to save sarsi from quarter life crisis. sarsi doesn't act like twenty though. you'd easily mistake her for an eighteen year old. i wonder if i'd ever feel the pressure of quarter life crisis when i reach twenty. i dont actually think being twenty is being old. twenty is very young. compared to middle age which is forty. ako nga, eighteen na, i still dont feel like im legally adult. i still enjoy candies, toys (especially zoids ooohh i like i like!), chicken little movies, etc. and im less than two years shy of turning twenty... well yeah maybe im growing old. but im not growing up at the moment. that time will come for sure, but not in the next five years.

un. in the meantime, id enjoy being young and fresh... and hairless....

everywhere is so desolate lately. UP had been very barren nowadays. i dont see the normal lot of students trudging down the weathered sidewalks of UP anymore. where could they be? and katipunan had also been desolate. the usual friday nights were no longer that bright and buzzy and bustling. just the normal city lights, and sound of mechanicals passing by. so lonely.

hay. well...

thata. wish me luck for next week. hell will break lose!

22 - make-up class for accounting1 (8-10), examination orale pour français dix à dix heure trente minute, l'examen d'unité pour français dix à un heure a l'apres midi, deadline for cw10 short story second/final draft...
23 - finals and practical exam for skin diving (10-12)
24 - finals for accounting1
27 - finals for history (morning) and mathematical economics (afternoon)

erg! i can see myself wasted by the end of this semester. and it doesn't end there, because i still have to land the rvc, and get myself a summer job. huff. now what job should i work for this summer? call center or starbucks? or english tutorials for koreans maybe? bookstores perhaps. list list list. will think of it later. i will take a nap for now.

-fatigued-

Seattle's Best

...

tiresome day. it's 2:04 am. my hands are throbbing after cutting 100 pages of directory material. and my eyes are puffy. i am puffy. can i have a capsule of antihistamine please?

sarsi's birthday celebration today. super bowl food is delicious. i want more eggplants and lemon chicken.

hung-out with ate ajean and her kada at seattles after megamall. ate ajean's kada is the generic type who would tend to non-exclusivity and add someone to the friends circle by "bonding" and talking about slums like love life and the like.

hmm...

hanging out with ajean's barkada gave me things that made me start thinking.

mage is gay. students of 131 do not sleep. java kuhla brownies is delicious. ate bes is a somnophiliac. ate my and ate ajean has a crush on me. and everybody else. bern is a softee. paul is kind sometimes. people find me "unconventional." juniors also oppressed by seniors.

seniors leaving this year. cheers to a joyous ecosoc next year!

tired. erg. sleep, bye.

-zzzZZZ-

Cafe Lupet

breathe... breathe...

the past two days had passed by me like a breeze.

saturday was the busiest day i had since the start of the year. at 730 in the morning, i was forced to wake up by a cwts call, telling me that i should get started because we are going to have a final activity for the kids of learning links. it's kind of like the quickly degrading form of activity called amazing race, ever so popularized in UP by the many different orgs that cant find adventure in non-running events, so there, amazing race. by 900 i was watching a balloon fight at the sunken garden, overly hyped kids with balloons on their feet, frenzying like some savages who had seen balloons for the first time. 930, we were off to quezon hall and manned the fifth station of the race.

michelle, me, and hazel were assigned for the amphitheater, but michelle was later assigned to document everything, so its just me and hazel. well. what will two young scatterbrains do in dead boring place like quezon hall? pictures...

me and hazel manning the station


fresh na fresh pa rin si tin!

jump on that sack kid!

thata. manning the fifth station was like very boring for our own good, but when the teams arrive, everything turns hectic, and when they're done, boring again. tsk tsk tsk. i felt more stressed out than the kids running round and round the academic oval, especially when my breakfast was a mere vanilla flavored fudgee bar and a cup of water.

when the orange team finally went by, we finally went back to sunken garden, where we waited for the rest to unfold. activity didnt finish until around 230 or 3. all the time we waited, i was talking to pia and tin about the wonders of phsyics, the mystique of the stars, black holes, the fourth dimension, deja vous', ghosts, apparitions, summer wears, etc. etc. it was drizzling, and at some part of my mind, i was thinking that minutes from now, cwts is over, no more learning links. time went by, tin received a lot of hugs from the kids, and when it came, the time when we finally had to go free of cwts, i wanted to delay it. for one moment, i was waving my arms to ate julie, and the kids were waving back at me, and i wanted to run back and tell them that this is not the last time we'll ever see each other. but then reality bites. a few steps more and i was playing scrabble in the ecosoc tambayan with an increasingly funny man named job, tin, and pia.

that was before the culminating activity of the cdc kids in ecosoc. well, it's kind of a bore actually.

then went to philcoa, still with tin and pia, to pig out. we were craving for chinese food all day long, so we decided to munch on chowking. hmmm, yummmy chao fan and black gulaman. tin had some weird looking shanghai rolls, pia introduced me to nai cha, etc. etc. that was 2 hours before 730 rendezvous in philcoa also, for the adhoc-taskforce event of our organization to be held in makati. and we were still dirty and sweaty and all tired, yet we still have to attend a party later. it's crunch time.

went back to katipunan an hour later. geez, that was tiresome, i was hustling hard all day, and i still have to attend a party with all the social butterflies in ecosoc. to catch up with time, i boiled water for my bath, and slept for a few minutes after thinking of the things that will happen next. the next thing i was aboard a cab with leontine, off to the mrt station to meet up with niña. party was at cafe lupe in guadalupe, makati. phew.

when we got there, things didnt turn out as much as expected. not much oppressive forces to be seen, not much flutterbys doing their icky stuff. basta. party was ok, but there were some periods of time when i got so bored out of exhaustion, there were a lot of gray areas in my memory about the party. lav brought her boytoy. niña, me, and lynnie gobbling some calamares and sisig. hating waiters, shouting out aimlessly, and taking lots of pictures. i remember dancing to the tune of brown music, grilling with this girl from ecosoc who was very pretty and very demure, and very i like i like. hehe, she was shirking though, cant grill that much in the dance floor, but that's ok. she smelled like some fruity whatever.

lynnie is still the same old lynnie with all her hacks and tacks. we did some weird moves on the dance floor. really weird... well thats us. niña and ayen was always on the background working their moves, bb42 people loved to dance and party and get wild (except for little miss stickwoman = julienne sayoc, not partying hard...).

party platypi

nuffink

the shrine in cafe lupe

haha! same old high school friends.

i was "it's so hot in herre" after three more songs, so i went back at the table where carelyn was splayed at the sofa, apparently miserable of someone over the phone. lav and her boytoy still not moving an inch. girls came back later and suddenly we were transported to a remote place of the bar, and did some adventure walk.

uff, writing not too well...

was proud of myself for putting up in all of the events that happened last saturday. that was way more than what i can handle, and i did it. good thing i still had the energy to strut some moves on the dance floor. but i was finally exhausted, that i slept at the cab when we went back to ayens place where we slept over. haay. ayen's place was another story, with all the robbery things and the mysterious things happening round, i choose not to expound.

haay. what a day. beaten eggs, meat loaf, half-burned pan de sal... life is boring without parties. life is incomplete with party animals... the real ones.

life is one big party anyways.

by the way, I AM NOT A PARTY PLATYPUS!! ask everyone.

-quack quack-

Breaking Meters

Then along that river-bank, a thousand miles,
The vine-snared trees fell down in files
Pioneer angels cleared the way
For a Congo paradise, for babes at play
For sacred capitols, for temples clean
Gone were the skull-faced witch men lean
There, where the wild ghost-gods had wailed
A million boats of the angels sailed
With oars of silver, and prows of blue
And silken pennants that the sun shone trhough
'Twas a land transfigured, 'twas a new creation,
Oh, a singing wing swept the Negro nation;
And on through the backwoods clearing flew:

Mumbo-jumbo is dead in the jungle
Never aginain will he hoo-doo you
Never again will he hoo-doo you!

-lindsay

thank god for poets. thank god for true poets. the poet i got this from gives onomatopoeia a new meaning. long live nicholas.

and may all self-righteous faux lyricists burn in that incinerator called poetry-hell.

searching for non-existent meters in "poems" is tiresome. and please, "free-versed" poems are not free-versed poems just because every word flowed out, and you didn't find meters necessary. no, dear. that's not a poem at all. it's just some prosaic collection of sentences with a hormonal backbone, a highfallutin facade, and air behind the lines.

i have yet to be educated of non-conventional styles of writing poems. but despite my lack of broad knowledge of the subject, i sense the flourishing of a literary genre called faux poetry (i hate to put poetry in it). ughf. i say stop connecting emotionally charged words to create poetry. it doesn't matter - rummaging through the thesaurus for the most highfalluting words - because putting absurd phrases might just destroy rhythm once you've started on plain words. you should try connecting ideas and images, not letters, mere letters.

"i will always cherish," "the sumptuous look of your lips," "and the dark mystical abyss..."

ak. you won the raspberry award for the poet who committed the most cliches.

yey.

read apotheosis for the nominees.

i promise to write for lit folio again. should give these pseudopoetic blurbers a beating.

-hoo-doo you-

Inner Child

when was the last time i watched a sci-fi movie?

i had so many things in my mind that i forgot to tend to the child inside me.

life is short, so i have to enjoy it... by...

watching chronicles of riddick! weee...

riddick is funny because riddick sounds like twiddick, quiddick, liddick...

puiddick... yiddick... diddick....

hehe.

i'll watch i robot later.

i should buy myself a toy... hmmm...

-so little time-

First Blood

breakaway

-leucémie-

Transcending Me

done watching this foreign film about aculturation. at first i was hesitant to rent it because it looked like some boo flick, being in the rack of (romantic) comedy. well out of boredom, i rented it nevertheless, along with two other monumental flops. i was lucky i rented it, because it is the root of my sentimental realizations for the day.

i watched the film and i felt like i was in the scene. have you watched a french-spanish film and felt like you were french in your past life, and you realize that this world is a grand design of barriers? invisible, intangible... barriers that prevents people from moving forward effortlessly? yes. culture, language. the universal law of impenetrability. people hardly move forward without the help of axioms. humans use their instinct of distinguishing the six universal emotions to communicate with the world to break barriers. but when this instinct fails to fuel the engine of communication, humans tend to create normals different from what he lives, but it is where he can move freely, think liberally, and live life like what he wanted it to be.

i am a case of realizations, reinventions, and transcendence.

a new normal revolves around me. i dont comb my hair anymore. no braces now, i seldomly wear my spectacles. darkened my skin, wore for comfort, and tried to speak another language. i learned how to write. forced myself to develop a liking on burger steak and the different shades of the gray scale. i realized that photographs are slices of life in still, so i make the best emotions when a camera is on me. i learned to accept, respect, appreciate the people and things around me. i look at the future with intent, like a leprechaun attracted to gold..

i dont speak out loud without giving regards to the givens anymore. i believe im humble now. and im a changed person.

i thought of love, looked for it in real life, and when i saw it, i never looked at it the same way again. maybe the reason why TRUE love escaped me is because i had no background about love, no backstory about how it functions in real life. in that sense i am ignorant and weak.

finding new normals are helpful. especially for people like me who have frequent "weakling" moments. i dont mind "strong" people anymore, telling me to collect myself and pounce on life like it's a piece of cake. i accept my weakness, and that's why i searched for new pastures. besides, strong people die anyways. it's more amusing to see them wimping as they surrender their dear lives, the strong people that they are.

basically im a changed person. how i changed was a matter of letting your past be a monumental history, and burrying the traumas behind every golden day in it. im tired of brooding over my not so colorful childhood. when i marry and have kids, i will teach them how to celebrate life, and teach them the art of finding normals, so they wont grow up like stone formations, perpetually weathered by time, until they end up being specks of sand washed away to far unknowns. no. they will live beautifully.

a close kin of mine told me recently that she hardly recognized me because i changed as i aged. well. people grow up you know.

but my blood is still the same, my soul still unchanged. i may not be the fair child with long brown flowing hair anymore, i may not be the dog-loving boy who's afraid of dogs, as what you've described me, but im still the good person i was back then. we can still talk of the old house, the christmas gatherings, or whatever... believe me. it's still me... i just learned a lot from life, that's the only difference.

i just found my new normal, and i developed a tougher shell.

have you ever tried taking a shower in another way? we take a shower facing the knobs right? try facing the other way, and feel the difference.

may you feel the subtle feel of liberation it gave me when i did.

-i am afraid of strength beyond measure-

Killing Keratoids

yey!

mum came over, brought me some real comfort stuff. chocolate!

and mallows and pillows and whateverthings...

yum!

mums are convenient. my mum came over and suddenly i have new shampoo, new toothpaste (colgate whitening with oxygen bubbles... tiching!!), food, new bathroom supplies...

my fingers are bound by keratolytic plasters. stupid corns... i cant type properly. keratoids all over my hand.

-bound-

Raspberry Tea

change is the only constant in the world. what a cliché.

it surprises me how my frapuccino preference can change in a week. vanilla frap just lacks character and lacks uniqueness relative to milkshakes... despite the comfort brought about by its sweetness, it has nothing in its flavor to boast about. there are more flavorful fraps in the menu...

like my new favorite frap: Tall Raspberry Tea Frapuccino Blended Cream added Whipped Cream!

originally i ordered the same vanilla frap whenever i went to starbucks. so it's just recently that i discovered the others. like raspberry tea frap, for example. very flavorful. there actually exists a tea from the leaves of raspberry?

i prefer blended cream in the frap because the raspberry tea syrup is very strong, you need to dull the flavor by cream. add some more extra whipped cream and voila! my periwinkle drink! it's so delicious, it gives me a hallucinated feel. (harhar, placebo effect) a sip tingles your tongue, it's like ambrosia. raspberry tea frap is also tricky because if you drink it straight up, the strength of the tea syrup will drug you over. so it has to be aspirated and oxygenated first in your mouth, para lumabas yun totoong lasa. haha, readying myself for some hardcore wine-tasting.

you oxygenate wine also right? to release its flavor?

yes, i have very limited wine knowledge. the only wine i know is tequila.

wine ba ang tequila?

see, im not even sure.

well back to starbucks.

my new favorite espresso beverage: *drum roll* is

short iced white chocolate moccha! wee, c'est délicieux!

it has vanilla frap characteristics, and i like it because by default, i am biased to sweet. the first thing i taste kasi in pure espresso is the bitter-caffeine-containing fraction of the drink, so when i had my serving of sweet tasting white chocolate moccha, iced, gawd... c'est la vie...

and i like the sound of ice cubes rattling against the plastic container, reminds me of summer.

i hope someone will take a mug shot of myself with my favorite frap for my planner-slash-receipt-clipboard-cum-journal-tags. its a matter of personalizing an otherwise mainstream notepad. a photo would make it underground, i guess. haha. my not so severe case of hypergraphia is manisfesting itself in media other than the computer and the internet. i wont be surprised if there will come a time when i would be forced to write on our comfort room walls.

weirdo.

-hypergraphic-

No Handshakes

erg.

felt guilty impaling rocky with a "i dont give handshakes" when he approached us this afternoon, campaigning. i believe i offended him. will apologize... later.

but is it really my fault being me? i choose to be my normal self even during campaign seasons. elections do not create a difference in me, unlike those who will run for any position in the student office. suddenly wilmer was talking to me. biatch. listen to my words of artificial meanings.

as for rocky, i didn't intend to hurt your feelings. you just met the real me back there. but i will apologize nevertheless, because i dont want anyone getting angry at me for being in a different wavelength... touche!

well. talking about being me, i became me again during the accounting exam. despite longer studying time i spent readying for fucking second exam, i still got a score lower than what's expected, even lower than my first exam. im convinced that this course is really not for me, because i love it as much as it doesnt love me. whit, i may say. never really developed a liking for accounting, even back in highschool. i would fail exams, and wouldn't give a damn.

college is different though, because in the first exam, i got a 78 out of a hundred, and got depressed. surprisingly, when i received my 71 percent second exam, i didnt feel like getting depressed anymore. tears had dried up i guess.

no more skin diving at the swimming pool forever. the wednesday that had past was our last meeting in the pool. the next meeting will be at the library, for the finals i guess. haay. no more tanning sessions until the next class outing.

my skin has a lot of viteligoed spots. i wont have good tanned skin pala, because some parts of my body just wont get any darker. it looks ugly.

i want to drown myself with raspberry tea frap. with extra whipped cream. a little astringent drink would do me good now, because my nerves are deadened by the academic blows i received today.

i would be needing a friend who would stay up til late night with me soon.

-wushu-